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Going Crazy at Work

yale

00:00 / 03:15

HOW I'VE SURVIVED FASCISM SO FAR

Bugs in my Computer

I was overworked and underpaid. Stagnant wages and inflation were driving me deeper and deeper into debt. Then suddenly I realized that my country--what I had thought of as a democracy for my whole life--had transformed into a fascist state, and I remembered that someone had said that fascism is "capitalism plus murder." Suddenly bugs started crawling out of my computer.

Bugs in My Phone

Bugs started crawling out of my phone.

Bugs Crawling out of My Television

At home, I just wanted a little entertainment, but bugs crawled out of my television.

Bugs Crawling all over People

When I went for a walk to clear my mind, I noticed bugs crawling all over people.

Bugs Crawling Up My Arm

When I touched someone, bugs started crawling up my arm.

Woman with a Bug on her Back

Then I saw a woman with a huge bug on her back. I looked closer and thought that maybe the bug was actually part of the design of the dress--some new kind of fashion maybe. Fashion for fascism.

Bugs on the Ceiling

When I got home, I discovered bugs hanging down from my bedroom ceiling. I thought that maybe fascism is actually "capitalism plus a lot of bugs plus murder."

Destroying the Constitution

When trolls destroyed the constitution, I knew that I had to disappear. They could kidnap me and cover me with bugs and murder me anytime they wanted.

Magic Mirror

So I stepped through my magic mirror and vanished completely--or so I thought.

Monsters Following Me

I began to notice that monsters were following me. They didn't do anything to harm me--but maybe they were fascists and were planning to murder me with no evidence that I had done anything wrong.

Imps Following Me

I felt paranoid, but when I turned around again, I noticed a crowd of imps following me. Most of them were adorable, so I didn't feel quite as afraid as before.

Demons Taunting Me

Suddenly the crowd of imps turned into demons who clawed the air and hissed at me and taunted me. I dashed away from them as quickly as I could.

Meeting the King and His Courtiers

I ran straight into a king sitting on a throne in the middle of the path. "You must now bow down and worship me!" the king declared. "Or I will have my men throw bugs all over you and murder you."

The Hole

I dashed back down the trail and noticed a large hole. I jumped into the hole and remained quiet for a long time. Eventually, I peeked out of the hole--and I didn't see demons or the king with his minions anywhere.

Angel with Rainbow Wings

I decided to continue hiking down the path. Soon I encountered an Angel in a field of flowers. "The world has become very dark," the Angel stated. "But you can still find rainbow colors in the world."

Harvest Dance

The Angel continued, "You can still love music and dancing and art and stories and flowers. The fascists can harm you if you are not careful, but they cannot destroy your soul--at least not completely."

All poems, stories, essays, illustrations, and music Copyright © 2025 by Jim Robbins.

Dictator Guiding a Wannabe

spsm25

00:00 / 03:51

HOW I'VE SURVIVED FASCISM SO FAR (PART TWO)

Six Supreme Court Justices Supporting the King

Every day our president looked more and more like a fool by taking the advice of a dictator--a super-rich oligarch--who had once stood against us in a long and frightful cold war. It became obvious that the enemy showed our dear leader how to undermine democracy in every way possible. Moreover, six Justices on the Supreme Court--who had vowed to uphold the constitution and the laws of this great land--granted our dear leader the power to ignore the constitution and to break all the laws--so much so that our leader could send many people to concentration camps and murder people without due process--and get away with it. The Republicans in the legislative and judicial branches--who controlled congress and the supreme court--did nothing to stop the destruction of a 250 year-old democratic society. It soon became clear that, through a global conspiracy, a fascist elite of oligarchs, kleptocrats, plutocrats, and autocrats--along with the support of the Republican Party and white supremacists and Christian nationalists and corporations and wealthy business leaders in our own country--had successfully overthrown the government. Our president had become a king. Our enemies did not have to invade our country--all they had to do was find the most venal fools to do their bidding.

Homeless Penguin

The power elite showed their ruthlessness. Republicans gutted the government agencies that had protected and benefited the public for many years and also cut access to health care and nutritional programs that enabled numerous people to survive--in other words, they burned democracy down to the ground--while giving huge tax breaks to millionaires and billionaires. People who suddenly found themselves on the street were thrown in jail.

Poppies and Lupine on Hillside

I had fought against corporate influence on our corrupt political system for years and had paid the price for decades. I could see fascism coming from miles away, but nobody ever believed me. Even now, many people still don't believe that they are living in a fascist society. So what did I do? I took a trip to the foothills to experience peace beyond understanding as I stood among the wildflowers.

Bluebird

While I was there, I sighted lovely spring birds and mused for a while about the angelic orders in the subtle spiritual dimensions.

Really Big Spider

I contemplated a large spider and felt reverence for the web of all life.

Contemplating a Pentacle

I contemplated a pentacle and meditated on the five points of the star, remembering that they symbolize the spirit within all of creation and the subtle elements of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire--each associated with a triplicity of the zodiac and their ruling planets--together representing the subtle dimensions of Universal Consciousness.

Gnome in the Flowers

I hiked through a region of the foothills that I had never explored before and discovered a gnome--who quickly ran around me three times and vanished into the forest.

Faery in the Flowers

I found a faery helping flowers to grow and flourish.

Spirit of the River

I discovered the spirit of the river, who in my mind's eye resembled a Goddess.

Spirit of the Earth

The spirit of the earth, who stood in flowers, in my mind's eye also resembled a Goddess.

Pissed Off Spirit of Place

But then I encountered a spirit of place who was extremely resentful and hostile, as if I were somehow responsible for the destruction of the environment in her woodland domain.

Welcoming Spirit of Place

But I also encountered a joyful welcoming spirit of place in a remote stretch of woodland forest who held up a cup and a snake. I soon found a pounding stone and surmised that the Native Americans who had lived by that creek for thousands of years had treated her with great reverence.

Awesome Spirit of Place

I climbed higher up the hillside and soon felt the awesome spirit of the mountains.

Dancing Juggler

I felt so happy that I danced and juggled pentacles within an infinity symbol for a while.

Shiva Dancing

Then I rested. I shut my eyes and had a vision of Shiva dancing with billions of galaxies and stars in the sky above him.

The Cosmos Surrounded by the Blackness of Space

Then I floated in outer space for a while. Suddenly the entire cosmos collapsed into a point of light surrounded by the blackness of space. From there, I experienced a wonderful perspective on fascism and all other systems of humanity.

All poems, stories, essays, illustrations, and music Copyright © 2025 by Jim Robbins.

Art Museum

xmas24

00:00 / 05:37

HOW I'VE SURVIVED FASCISM SO FAR (PART THREE)

Bird Flying Out of a Painting

I was worrying a bit too much about masked thugs breaking down my door and throwing me on the floor and handcuffing me and dragging me off to a concentration camp or to a deep, dark hole (without due process), so, thinking that the paintings and sculptures might take my mind off of the fascist overthrow of our democratic republic, I pedaled my bike to a nearby art museum. Right after I started strolling through the museum, I noticed a bird flying out of a painting. "That didn't just happen! Did it? Am I hallucinating? Have the fascists created alternate realities even in art museums? That would make sense. They rewrite history and strive to suppress the arts, after all. They basically want to control just about everything that we perceive and believe, so I why am I even surprised?" I muttered out loud.

Fool Stepping Out of a Painting

Suddenly a fool stepped out of what appeared to be a hallway--but which turned out to be a painting.
"Wha, what the...Who are you? Are you real?" I asked the fool.
"You might believe that we are living in a matrix. You are correct, but it probably isn't what you think it is. The matrix reveals the dimensions of Universal Consciousness," the fool replied.

Skeleton Stepping Out of a Painting

Suddenly, a large skeleton stepped out of a nearby painting. Many people, a few of whom were screaming or whimpering, scurried out of the room. "Don't be afraid," the fool assured me. "Usually in this society, one must experience deep transformation in order to open the heart and mind and develop an understanding of the matrix," the fool stated soothingly. "Death of the lower self, or what we often call the 'personality,' is a common experience in the process of enlightenment and usually opens doorways to spiritual realms. Follow me and I will explain." With the fool, I stepped through the painting into a dim hallway.

Salacious One

Suddenly we encountered a terrifying creature with a lion's head and five animal legs. "Don't worry, this creature probably won't attack us. It tries to look powerful and scary, but like a bully it usually runs away if you confront it. We have opened a door to another dimension. The creature in front of us represents the unbalanced energy of Venus."
"People who throughout history have had the ability to see into the spirit realms have experienced a composite symbol of the matrix, known as the Tree of Life, which reveals the subtle forces within the dimensions of Universal Consciousness as well as the balanced and unbalanced energies within each individual human being. In a fascist society, which as you know is the form of government that we are currently living under--in this fascist society, rich, powerful men often manifest unbalanced salacious tendencies that are harmful to young girls and women, but because the rich and powerful have a lot of money and political influence, many of them get away with it. These powerful men usually do not realize that during their salacious activities they are manifesting the unbalanced energy of the Emanation of Victory, which is associated with the Goddess Venus--an unbalanced energy which is commonly known as 'lust' and which often includes a desire for power and control over people and even over entire societies. The balanced energy of Venus is selflessness--in other words, selfless love, free of the desire for domination or control over other people. You see, every archetypal power or energy within the matrix of the Tree of Life contains both a virtue and a vice. Fascist leaders, almost always without fail, manifest the vice of more than one of the Emanations within the matrix."

Breakers into Pieces

Then we strolled out of the building and encountered a ferocious warrior riding on the back of an alligator. The fool continued, "We have entered another dimension. These frightening fellows represent the unbalanced energy of Jupiter. This unbalanced energy often manifests in leaders who desire power and wealth above everything else. The fascists often insist that they are chosen by the Divine and that only they can 'save the people.' They also often claim that they must tear everything down and start over so that they can build a more just and stable and equitable society. Instead they break the law and steal whatever they can and accept large bribes and send in military forces to oppress the people, and they end up breaking everything into pieces so that the people, especially the poor and vulnerable, end up suffering even more injustices and inequality and instability than they had ever before. The Breakers into Pieces, who we see before us now, represent the unbalanced forces of the Emanation of Mercy--which are tyranny, bigotry, gluttony, and hypocrisy. In other words, fascists selfishly exalt themselves above everyone else and often want to believe that they are also above the law. Fascist leaders constantly manifest these unbalanced qualities and usually end up harming many people and destroying their society instead of saving it."

The Burners

Then, as we continued on the tour, a fiery demon rode by us on a horse. "We need to be careful now," the fool warned. "These monsters incite violence and war, and they desire to burn everything down to the ground. They manifest the unbalanced energies of cruelty and destructiveness associated with the Emanation of of Power associated with Mars. Fascist leaders in power are often cruel and destructive and end up burning everything down, especially if they can't maintain their power or continue their lawlessness. They burn up the constitution and the laws of a democracy in a trash bin because they want more than anything to practice their cruelty and destructiveness without being held accountable. They throw people into concentration camps without due process and torture and kill people with impunity because they find ways to control the justice system and the congress--for their own benefit. The ideal balanced energies of Mars include courage and strength and discipline and righteousness--which fascist leaders cannot manifest because they are ruthless lawbreakers."

King of Swords Stepping Out of a Painting

The fool then guided me back to the museum. Suddenly a king holding up a sword stepped out of a large painting. "The King of Swords embodies high authority and power derived from knowing the truth and using logic to make decisions in a decisive, intentional way," The fool claimed. "The King of Swords operates from a place of honesty, using reason and facts to guide his actions. He encourages fair, objective viewpoints, and makes sound, evidence-based judgments. He always communicates clearly and truthfully. He strives for the highest good and knows that balance is the key and that balance is achieved through reason and truth. Quite different from fascist leaders, who constantly lie and deceive, isn't he?"

Angel Stepping Out of a Painting

Suddenly an angel stepped out of a nearby painting. The fool explained, "Angels are divine messengers, protectors, and guides, and they bring with them hope, love, light, purity, and harmony. They also help connect humanity with God. They have wings for freedom and flight, and their halos reveal that they are spiritual entities who serve God. Fascists don't want us to know that spiritual beings such as angels exist because they want us all to remain in the dark and afraid of their power."

Moon Goddess

Suddenly a Moon Goddess stepped out of a nearby painting. The fool explained, "Moon goddesses are often seen as an embodiment of the divine feminine--and are also linked to the subconscious mind and intuitive wisdom. As a source of nocturnal light, the moon and its deities often represent mystery, the divine realms, and the hidden aspects of the human psyche. In certain cultures, moon goddesses embody rebelliousness and represent sexual liberation as well as opposition to patriarchal structures. Moon Goddesses are associated with the Emanation on the Tree of Life known as The Foundation, and they are associated with the feminine Holy Spirit--the aspect of God that gives birth to physical manifestation. Fascists subjugate women and suppress the power of the divine feminine as much as possible because they don't want feminine power to impinge upon their own power."

Mercury in the Hood

As we continued our tour, the fool and I stepped into a neighborhood, and we found the God Mercury reading a book as he walked down the street. The fool explained, "Mercury represents the splendor of the intellect, but he is associated also with commerce, trade, and travelers, and since the virtue of the Emanation of Splendor is truth, the unbalanced energy or vice of the Emanation is deception--hence Mercury's association with thieves. Mercury is also a messenger of the gods and guides souls to the underworld. He embodies quickness, cleverness, and communication. He wears winged sandals and a winged hat, and he often carries a caduceus, a winged staff with two snakes entwined together representing the healing process of purifying and awakening the chakras within the human energy field known as the aura. Fascists, who continually lie and use misinformation and disinformation to keep people confused, do everything they can to suppress intellectual power--truth is the highest spiritual virtue of the eighth Emanation of the Tree of Life--and fascists fear truth more than anything."

Venus Stepping Out of a Painting

The fool and I returned to the museum just as the Goddess Venus was stepping out of a painting. The fool explained, "Venus, who is associated with nature and the arts, represents love, beauty, desire, sexuality, fertility, and prosperity. Her influence extends beyond romantic love, encompassing broader concepts of attraction, pleasure, birth and rebirth, and spiritual love as it exists in the planes of manifestation. Venus holds up a prism to the sun so that we can know the Many in the One and the One in the Many. As we experience all the diversity in the natural world, through Venus we can also experience the underlying unity of all creation. Fascists don't want us to know that we are one with other people and with the innumerable creatures of the earth because fascists want us to believe that we are all separate and alone and vulnerable and fighting for scraps."

Jesus in the Hood

For some reason the fool and I returned to the neighborhood, and there we found Jesus. The fool explained, "Jesus brought a new commandment to the common people and the poor and the outcasts: 'Love one another.' He wanted us all to know that the Kingdom of God is within us--in other words, he wanted us to know that God's divinity is within every person and therefore we should treat others the way that we want to be treated and feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty and love our neighbor as ourselves and welcome the stranger. He wanted us to know that we are all one. But fascists don't want us to believe that. Jesus is associated with the center of equilibrium on the Tree of Life as well as with the Sun. Jesus is the Son of the Trinity. Through Him we experience the Vision of Harmony and the Mysteries of the Crucifixion. Fascists vilify minorities and cause divisiveness in every way they can because the commandment of Jesus to love one another is a great threat to their power."

Mars in the Hood

As we continued our walk through the neighborhood, the God Mars ran towards us with a flaming sword. The fool explained, "Mars is a God of Fire and war and military power and the blood and din of battle, but he is essentially a God of courage and strength and discipline and spiritual righteousness who fights for justice to maintain harmony and balance in the world. Mars brings justice through 'Power,' which is the name of the Emanation of the Tree of Life that Mars is associated with. He is also associated with potency and fertility--in mythology, Mars had a love affair with Venus, which reveals the great potency of the divine masculine and the divine feminine joined on the spiritual and physical levels. Fascists are afraid of justice because they are constantly breaking the law, and they don't want people to know their own potency and spiritual power because that threatens the fascists' political and economic power."

Jupiter on His Throne

As we continued our tour, we encountered Jupiter sitting on a throne as lightning flashed all around him. The fool explained, "Jupiter is the King of the Gods, who embodies great authority. As the King of the Gods, he controls the weather and wields the power of the thunderbolt, symbolizing his power and sovereignty over both Gods and humans. Jupiter embodies great creative upbuilding power and is revered as the source of law and order. In the Emanation of Mercy on the Tree of Life, Jupiter enables us to experience the harmony, magnificence, and abundance within the human spirit and within the dimensions of Universal Consciousness. Fascists don't want us to experience the harmony, magnificence, and abundance of the human spirit because fascists, most of whom promote capitalism, want us to feel small and fearful and miserable and vulnerable and exploitable."

Saturn by the Sea

The fool and I entered another dimension of the matrix and encountered the God Saturn by the sea. In the Emanation of the Tree of Life known as Understanding, Saturn rules as the Father of the Gods. Saturn is associated with the root of form that grows and flourishes within the planes of existence, but he is also associated with death and sorrow because all form dies and dissolves. Saturn represents the limitations of physical existence, the passing of time, the discipline of patience, the process of maturity. He is associated as well as with agriculture, with harvest, with wealth, with time, and with spiritual and mental and physical discipline. Saturn is known as the God who taught people to farm--the God who brought peace, abundance, and equality to society in a time known as the "golden age." Fascists don't want equality. Instead they want to channel wealth to themselves and to the super-rich cronies who support them. Fascists don't want a golden age of peace and abundance either--they want to incite violence and inspire divisiveness to keep the poor fighting each other instead of directing their anger at a tiny minority of powerful people who control most of the wealth."

Mother Mary

As we continued walking, the fool and I encountered Mother Mary by the sea--which is the womb of all life. The fool explained, "Mother Mary represents the divine feminine, which includes divine motherhood. She inspires faith and hope, and with her love and compassion she is revered as a mother figure for all of humanity. People identify with her love for Jesus and also identify with the sorrow she experienced as her son died on the cross. The Emanation of Understanding is the souce of great love and great sorrow--through which we come to understand and sympathize with the love and sorrow experienced by other people. She is the model of purity and virtue, and she is a powerful symbol of God's love and mercy--as well as a model for the love and mercy that we can show to each other as human beings. She is an intercessor who reveals a path to the Source, leading believers to God through her devotion. Like Jesus, she transcends the hateful divisiveness and the intentional conflicts created by the fascists--and other greedy, power-hungry people. She helps us to experience the mercy and love and compassion at the heart of the matrix of the Tree of Life.

All poems, stories, essays, illustrations, and music Copyright © 2025 by Jim Robbins.

My Box in the Forest

3enoch

00:00 / 05:15

HOW I'VE SURVIVED FASCISM SO FAR (PART FOUR)

Mountain Lion next to My Box

Because the king had let hundreds of thousands of people die unnecessarily from the plague and had eliminated due process and then had begun to incite domestic political violence against half of the realm's population, I decided to hike into the the mountains and live in a box. My first night, as I tried to sleep, a mountain lion sniffed me and licked my face but then sauntered away as if I didn't smell or taste very good.

Oriole Perching on My Box

When I woke up the next morning, an oriole flew down and perched on my box. I was amazed that such a stunning bird would get so close to me. I thought that maybe he wanted to be my friend, but then he started scolding me--like a male oriole often does when you get too close to its nest.

Faery Peeking into My Box

As the day progressed, a faery peeked into my box and then glanced at me quizzically--as if she had never seen a fool before. When I extended my hand slowly in her direction, she quickly flew away as if surprised that I could see her. No doubt she was afraid that I was a dangerous predator.

Gnome near My Box

Soon a gnome was standing near me. He stared for a moment and then ran three times around my box as fast as a wild animal. Then he stopped and stared at me again as if wondering why I didn't get out of my box and follow him to the faery realm.

Ghost of a Native American Near My Box

Soon the gnome vanished into the forest, and I noticed the ghost of a Native American near my box. He frowned at me disapprovingly as if to say, "We fought for this land against your ancestors. We lost, but at least we fought. Why are you sitting in this box instead of fighting the greedy, power-hungry people who are destroying the history of your ancestors and your way of life and poisoning where you live and threatening the survival of your people and the other creatures of the earth?" I sat in my box and shook my fist at the venal men who were eliminating due process and rules and norms and violating the constitution and breaking the law and shredding the social safety net and channeling the vast majority of wealth upward to the richest few percent and inciting domestic political violence to create an excuse to invoke the insurrection act and establish martial law. I soon realized that I could sit in my box and shake my fist all day.

Homeless People Near My Box

So I picked up my box and carried it down to the valley below. In the city, I found a street that I liked and leaped back inside my comfortable box. Eventually numerous homeless people gathered around me. Before that moment, I had no idea that so many homeless people were struggling to survive on the streets.

Angel Hovering Over My Box

I felt overwhelmed and depressed by all the suffering in the realm, and I closed my eyes. As I started falling asleep, I thought for a moment that I felt a presence. I opened my eyes and suddenly glimpsed an angel hovering over me. I heard an extremely faint message, but after awhile as I was trying to understand it, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, I felt a surge of hope and confidence, so I picked up my box and began searching for a job.

Yelling at My Box

Eventually I landed a job. The manager even kindly let me work in my box. After I had slaved for the company for several weeks, I was called into the manager's office. Suddenly two bosses and the manager started yelling a me. I pulled down the lid of my box but eventually realized that I had complained a bit too much about the king and the horrible problems he and his minions were creating in the realm. I thought we still had the right to free speech. (I guess not.)

Chained to My Box

I got fired, but it didn't matter because I soon became infected with the plague. I knew that some people had managed to survive the plague, so I retained a little hope that I might recover. I felt chained to my box, but I had a lot of time to think and dream. I eventually decided that if I did somehow survive, I would head back to the mountains and live in my box again.

My Empty Box

To my great surprise, I survived. As I hiked back up the mountain, I gazed with joy at the trees and rocks and birds and flowers. When I reached a good place to stay, I put down my box and decided to explore the forest.

Angel in the Flowers

I strolled through a field of purple flowers and suddenly came upon an angel. She held out her arms as if to welcome me, but she also seemed to be encouraging me to enjoy at the flowers. Suddenly I felt the breath of the flowers and smelled their fragrance, and I felt a tranquility that I had never ever experienced before.

Old Mining Road

The Angel guided me up a hill on an old mining road that was blanketed by lupine and poppies. The road was slowly vanishing under the peaceful flowers.

Pestles on a Pounding Stone

The Angel and I continued up the mining road, and we eventually found an abandoned Native American village site near a stream. The Angel motioned to eleven pestles that still rested on one of the pounding stones. I began to suspect that miners during the gold rush had a lot to do with the disappearance of the Native Americans. Genocide had occurred in this realm and could happen again, especially with a king who wanted to imprison or kill anybody with a different skin color or anyone who wasn't loyal to him.

Indian Paint Brush and Lupine

The Angel then guided me to red Indian Paint Brush flowers interwoven with bluish-purple ground lupine. I realized then that the red flowers were named in honor of the Native Americans who had lived in that place for thousands of years. Even though I felt great sadness for the Native Americans, I also felt ravished by the loveliness of the flowers. I couldn't quite figure out, though, how I could be experiencing such intense negative and positive feelings at the same time.

One Pestle in a Mortar

The Angel then guided me to another Native American village site in the hills. One pestle remained in the mortar of a pounding stone--as if one Native American had somehow escaped the genocide and had managed to survive by herself at the village site, at least for awhile.

Divine Feminine

I felt deeply disturbed, but the Angel guided me to to a woman who looked like a Goddess. She emanated the divinity of the earth, and I suddenly I felt the unity of all creation. I realized then that divine unity persisted in the world despite the genocide of an entire race and the continuing venality and lawlessness of greedy, power-hungry people--but I was amazed that I could still feel a profound connection with the Source even though the king and his minions were murdering people and sending people to concentration camps (without due process).

All poems, stories, essays, illustrations, and music Copyright © 2025 by Jim Robbins.

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