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beat5

00:00 / 03:58

Virgil as Chimpanzee

SUITE NO. 2--NINTH MOVEMENT:

BANANA REPUBLICAN LAND

The Fool as Chimpanzee

As the Fool was trudging back toward "The Upside Down" in search of Virgil, he discovered a sign covered by foliage that read, "Banana Republican Land Way." The Fool thought to himelf, "This path might be better than the one I'm on now. Hopefully I won't encounter any more trolls on this path." So he took a chance and headed toward Banana Republican Land.
Soon he encountered a chimpanzee in a brown hoodie, who exclaimed, "My friend! So glad to see you again!"
"Virgil, is that you?" the Fool asked. "You look kind of different."
"I know," Virgil answered. "I was just taking a late night stroll in 'The Upside Down,' and the police arrested me for vagrancy. They kept me in jail over night, but then they deported me the next day to Banana Republican Land for being an illegal immigrant. As soon as you enter this realm you turn into a chimpanzee. Obviously you haven't looked at yourself recently."
The Fool looked down at his hands. "Oh, my God!" he blurted out. "I had no idea. On the bright side, though, at least we can find something to eat here. Fortunately, there are bananas everywhere."

Chimpanzees Living in Trees

As the Fool and Virgil continued down the path, they encountered some chimpanzees living in trees. "Maybe we should live in trees too!" the Fool exclaimed. "That looks like a good place for chimps like us to live." But Virgil suggested that they should try to find a decent job somewhere.

Chimps on the Job

The Fool and Virgil both landed a job picking bananas on a plantation. Unfortunately, at the end of the week, the supervisor, knowing that they were illegal immigrants, claimed that the company didn't have enough money to pay them. "Maybe next week," the supervisor snickered. "But don't leave mad. Take a few bananas."

At the Circus

So Virgil and the Fool headed to town. The Fool got a job riding a bicycle in a circus while Virgil searched for work. After a week, though, the supervisor fired the Fool because he wasn't entertaining enough. "Why don't you do a hand-stand on your handlebars or something?" the supervisor inquired. "People come here to see a spectacle. You're just not circus material."

On the Street

The Fool and Virgil found themselves on the street. Occasionally a kind stranger gave them a banana.

In the Classroom

Virgil eventually got a job as a teacher, but they didn't pay him much, and he didn't receive any benefits like health insurance or a pension. They hired him on a semester by semester basis, so he didn't have any job security.

In the Grocery Store

Virgil and the Fool could occasionally go to the grocery store instead of only picking and eating bananas off of the trees, but they discovered that most chimps, like them, didn't have enough money to buy everything they needed.

At the Hospital

Virgil became terribly ill, and the Fool took him to the hospital. In front of the hospital, they encountered a family leaving the emergency room. "They just bankrupted us! The health insurance company denied our claim!" they groaned.
"I'll be all right," Virgil assured the Fool. "Don't be foolish enough to take me in there! I don't have any health insurance."

Paying Bills

Virgil eventually recovered and somehow managed to hold on to his job, but he was only paid for the classes he had taught, so the two of them didn't have enough money to pay all of their bills. "We're not going to be able to live here much longer," Virgil stated sadly.

After the Fire

It didn't matter because fire swept through the city and burned everything to the ground. "Global warming has caused a drought and hurricane winds fanned the flames," Virgil complained. "We need to find another place to live."

After the Hurricane

So the Fool and Virgil moved to another town in Banana Republican Land. Unfortunately a devastating hurricane hit the city soon after. "Maybe we should go live in the trees," Virgil joked.

Oligarch

As they were trudging away from town, they encountered an rich man, who inquired, "Why are you fleeing? You just need to find a decent job and rebuild."
"We didn't own our home," the Fool replied. "We only rented."
"We can't find any decent jobs," Virgil responded.

Wage Slaves

Then the Fool and Virgil hiked to a large city where they encountered chimpanzees in suits scrambling to get to work. "What are you looking at?" one of them sneered. "If you brown nose enough and work your behind off and you're lucky, one day you might earn a living wage like us. Now get the hell out of our way. Go find a job! Stop being free-loaders!"

Managers

So the Fool and Virgil applied for a job. "What are your qualifications?" one of the managers inquired.
"I was a teacher at a community college," Virgil replied. "Then a devastating fire burned everything down in the city where we lived, and we had to leave. I assure you, though, that we are both quick learners."
"We're sorry," one of the managers replied. "You are not qualified enough. Come back when you have more work experience."

Politicians

Then as the Fool and Virgil were scrounging for some food in the downtown area, they encountered politicians in front of the capitol building. "Can you help us?" Virgil asked politely.
"I'm sorry, but have you given us a contribution?" one of the politicians asked.
"No," the Fool whimpered. "Aren't you supposed to represent us?"
The politicians all looked at each other and laughed.

Supreme Court Justices

"Why don't you take your case to the Supreme Court?" one of the politicians smirked. "The Supreme Court Justices believe that money is speech. They just might listen to you if you give them enough money--but make sure you don't say anything." All the other politicians chuckled.

King of the Chimps

"In fact," the politician continued, "the Supreme Court just gave the President of 'Banana Republican Land' immunity for all official acts, which makes the President our King. Maybe the King will listen to you if you give him enough money--like his super-rich oligarch friends do. Good luck!" The politicians all laughed as they shook their heads and patted each other on the back.

The King with His Court

Virgil squinted at the politicians. "The King is probably holding court right now," he grunted. "It's better to be a poor chimp than a sycophant. Let's get out of here!" Virgil and the Fool nodded at each other and eventually found another path to the Tarot Realms.

hinew

00:00 / 03:58

SUITE NO. 2, TENTH MOVEMENT

Black Clouds in the Office

SOD LAND

Rhinestone Boss

Virgil and I finally made it to the Tarot Realms. After awhile, I felt like I needed to fight fascism in one of the nether realms that we had traversed through. I ended up back in Sod Land, which seemed at first to have a "soft" form of fascism--a place where I might be able to make a difference, in other words. First, of course, I needed to find a job. I applied at a corporation, and a few days later a secretary invited me to a job interview. When I stepped into the office, I noticed black clouds hanging above the large table in the middle of the room. Already a bit nervous, I tried my best to avoid looking at the strange clouds as the interviewers asked me questions. I said whatever they wanted to hear and smiled a lot and tried to appear friendly to everyone in the room. After the interview, a secretary called me and asked me to come in to meet my new boss, who wanted to give me a tour of the office. After I arrived, my new boss, dressed in a rhinestone suit, shook my hand and guided me through the office to meet some of my coworkers.
"I should probably warn you," my new boss stated. "We like to think of 'McPrison, Inc.' as a progressive, trend-setting company. However, you're going to see a few things that you might consider strange or even a little bizarre. Besides having provided necessary resources to the private prison industry over the years, our company now also provides special assistance to the government--which has recently passed legislation that enables corporations to build and maintain 'criticism cells' within their own offices. In other words, the government provides us with funding for building prison cells for anyone who criticizes the king or capitalism or Christianity or any other traditional values or aspects of our superior way of life. Please, follow me. Let me introduce you to Ms. Jones, my former secretary."

Criticism Cell #1

We strolled past several offices and came upon a cell that contained an elderly woman. My new boss continued, "Ms. Jones criticized the king for passing a big, beautiful bill that gutted the social safety net--her main complaint being about how the huge cuts to health care programs are going to hurt children and the elderly and veterans and people with disabilities. Even though Ms. Jones has provided decades of service to this corporation, we were forced to imprison her in this 'criticism cell' because she had committed a serious crime, which is now considered a potential terrorist threat."

Criticism Cell #2

We strolled past several more offices and came upon another cell. The boss continued, "This guy, whose name escapes me at the moment, Mr. Gomez, I think it is, or Mr. Martinez, or something like that, criticized the king for ordering masked thugs without any identification to kidnap people off the street and send them without due process to concentration camps. Sorry, Jesus, or whatever your name is. Even though you might have done great work for the corporation, you committed a serious crime, a potential act of terrorism, and now you have to do the time."

Criticism Cell #3

"How do you like the tour so far?" My new boss asked me.
"Just wonderful, sir," I replied enthusiastically.
Soon we came upon another criticism cell. "This guy is just a damned rabble rouser," My new boss claimed. "He's a radical left-wing lunatic who tried to convince hard-working people who serve this corporation to start a labor union--which is an indicator that he is a potential terrorist threat. We have witnesses who claim that he was also criticizing capitalism and our traditional way of life. By doing so, according to Directive Number Seven signed by our dear King, he might have to remain locked up as a potential terrorist threat for the rest of his life."

Criticism Cell #4

We continued our leisurely tour and soon found another criticism cell. "This guy criticized our beloved Christianity, which, my friend, is blasphemy with a capital B! He had the gall to claim that Christianity nowadays is the exact opposite of what Jesus teaches in the bible. He insists that Jesus commands us to love one another and to treat others the way we want to be treated. The radical nutjob in this cell claims that Jesus commends those who gives food to the hungry and those who lift up the poor--and that individuals and nations shall be judged by how we treat the stranger, you know the dangerous criminal immigrants and refugees. This anti-Christian vermin claims Jesus taught that 'what you do for the least of these, you do for me,' or some made up, idiotic blasphemy like that. Ridiculous! We know that Jesus was definitely not a radical left-wing lunatic like this dirty enemy from within. We all know that what you do for the most powerful within a corporation profits everyone within the corporation and within society. It all trickles down, right?"
"Yes, sir," I responded.

Criticism Cell #5

At the next criticism cell, the boss pointed out, "This young lady claimed that she almost died because it's now against the law for doctors to perform necessary reproductive health care procedures. She shouted that in this realm we only care about the fetus, not the mother--and not the baby after it's born. She was so shrill that she sounded like a terrorist. She was way too negative about our always admirable way of life. We're still determining whether we should consider her criticism a potential terrorist threat."

Criticism Cell #6

"I would like to show you one more criticism cell before we finish our tour," my new boss said. "This young lady complained about being an independent contractor who doesn't receive a living wage and doesn't receive benefits like health insurance or a pension. She complained that she will probably never be hired as a full-time employee. That's true for the vast majority of our workers here. Why does she think that she's so special? On top of that, a witness claimed that she complained about how the king had commanded his paramilitary forces to kidnap people or murder them on the street without any due process. She needs to get real and stop being so hostile to our social and corporate values. We like her. We really don't want to consider her 'the enemy within.'"

Journey to the Tarot Realm

At the end of the tour, I thanked my new boss. He smiled and shook my hand. When I got home from work, I put on my armor and headed through the enchanted forest back to the Tarot Realms.

Mr. Mellifluous in the Enchanted Forest

As I hiked through the forest, I unexpectedly met Mr. Mellifluous. "I've heard that people in the Sod Cell Realm are suffering terribly from fear and hatred, mainly because of the new king's demented need for total domination. Are you heading back to the Tarot Realms?"
"Yeah," I replied. "I need to return to a place where some sanity prevails."
"Here in the enchanted forest," Mr. Mellifluous replied, "you will meet warring and ministering angels who will support you. They will follow you if you decide to head back to your realm. They will not show themselves in your realm, but you will often feel their presence."

Surrounded by Wild Beasts

Mr. Mellifluous vanished. Suddenly I could sense that wild beasts were surrounding me. I drew my sword just as I realized that I was outnumbered. I wondered for a second if I should at least try to run away from them.

Warring Angel

A warring angel, who looked like a mountain lion dressed in armor, suddenly appeared near me. He screeched and growled and screeched again and the beasts turned and dashed away. "I wish I could that!" I exclaimed.
"You have your own talents, my friend," he replied. "But I will also support you in your battles on a spiritual level if you return to the Tarot Realms or to a fascist realm--either way, I will be there for you even though you won't be able to see me."

Ministering Angel

Soon I encountered a ministering angel. She stated, "Because you are a knight, you are needed in the Tarot Realms but you are also needed in the fascist realms. Either way, I will be there for you. Sometimes you will hear my voice or have an intuition. I will be your spirit guide."

King of Pentacles

I continued hiking through the forest and eventually came to a castle where I encountered the King of Pentacles sitting on his throne. "Have faith, my friend!" the King proclaimed. "You are a healer and a knight who knows the dimensions of Universal Consciousness. You learned how to be a healer and a knight here in the Tarot Realms, and you have shown that you have great skill and courage and discipline. You have lived a life of inspiration and quiet heroism, and you can also do the same in other realms that need you, such as the fascist realms. You can help people move beyond panic and fear to quiet heroism in the face of what appears to be insurmountable odds. I would like you to stay here with us, of course, but you are needed in the realm from which you came--far more than you are needed here. As you return to your realm, you will meet other warring and ministering angels in the enchanted forest who will support you, my friend."
I bowed before the King and stated, "I shall return to Sod land, great King, at your bidding," I replied. The King smiled and nodded.

Another Warring Angel

As I hiked back through the enchanted forest, I encountered an eagle dressed in armor--another warring angel. "I see from the perspective of eternity, and I will help you in your battles against lawlessness and injustice and corruption. You might sometimes feel hopeless, but remember that I am always with you."

Another Ministering Angel

Soon I encountered another ministering angel, who stated, "When you return to Sod Land, you will find that another terrible crisis is occurring. I will support you through the darkest of times," she assured me.

Another Plague

As soon as I got back to Sod Land, I could see that another pandemic had started raging. "I am going to call on you, my warring and ministering angels, soon and often. No doubt, I will need your help even more than you expect," I muttered.

oro26

00:00 / 05:17

Stalked by a Witch

Suite No. 2, Eleventh Movement:

HALLOWEEN LUNATIC ASYLUM

Hunted by a Lion-Man

As I was searching for food in the enchanted forest, I walked a little to far from the trail. I was lost, and I suddenly felt like someone or something was stalking me. I turned around and glimpsed a witch peeking at me from behind a tree. I galloped through the forest as fast as I could, but the witch kept getting closer. When I turned around to protect myself, she suddenly vanished into the forest, so I continued on my way, looking over my shoulder now and then.
Perplexed, I shook my head but kept hiking. Suddenly a lion with human hands rushed toward me. I waved my sword and shouted at the creature. It roared and clawed at me, but eventually it turned and vanished into the forest. I dashed away, looking over my shoulder every now and then.

Hunted by a Fool

As I was deciding that I should head back to town, a fool jumped out from behind a tree and waved a semi-automatic weapon at me and began howling with laughter. I dove behind a a log as he started shooting, the bullets flying all over the place. I managed to crawl away as the fool laughed maniacally. "Geez, the enchanted forest is crazy today. What day is it?" I wondered out loud. I had been exploring the enchanted forest for several days and had lost track of time.

Led into Battle by Mars?

I eventually made it back to town and strolled through a neighborhood next to my apartment. Suddenly a warrior with a flaming sword rushed by me. "Charge!" he shouted.
"Where's the battle!" I blurted out as he dashed down the street. No answer.

Haunted House

As I continued strolling down the street, I came upon a haunted house. "Oh, now I know what day it is," I mumbled.

Director of the Left-Wing Lunatic Asylum

I knocked on the front door, thinking that I might ask for a glass of water and possibly even a piece of candy.
A man in a skeleton costume opened the door. "Very nice to meet you. We've been expecting you. Please come in. I am the director here. Don't worry. You will be treated here with the utmost care and respect," he claimed as he shook my hand and motioned me inside.

Left-Wing Lunatic Asylum

The director continued, "As you know, our beloved King has signed an executive order commanding all radical left-wing lunatics to check into the asylum of their choice on this very special day--which of course is why you're here. Let me give you a quick tour of the asylum before I show you to your room. We will begin our studies of you tomorrow."

King Giving a Special Speech

As we walked through the asylum, we noticed the King on TV giving a speech. In honor of the King, the director and I paused to watch.
"I am afraid, dear citizens, that we are forced to suspend some rights because drug cartels and illegal immigrants and dangerous criminals have invaded our beloved realm and terrorists and radical left-wing lunatics have incited an insurrection with the intention of overthrowing our government. They are hideous monsters who will steal your candy and burn down your house and kill you just for a laugh. Therefore, we have suspended habeas corpus and have invoked the insurrection act. We can now imprison or execute rebels without due process, and, believe me, we will not hesitate to follow through on that promise, good citizens. We have already set up many insane asylums and concentration camps for the terrorists, and we have burned the constitution so that we can create a much better one that protects all of our loyal citizens. The left-wing radical lunatics must be stopped now! We are ending this insanity today!" the King hectored.

Justice in the Lunatic Asylum

The director and I continued our tour of the asylum. We came upon a woman holding up a sword who yelled, "There is no justice in this realm!"
The director soothingly replied, "Now, now, old girl, everything will be fine. Just put down your sword, and we will bring some candy to you after you return to your room." The woman angrily threw down her sword, and the director quickly grabbed it.
"Orderlies!" the director shouted.

Dragon in Courtyard of the Asylum

Without a word, we continued our tour. Suddenly we encountered a dragon in the courtyard. "No worries," the director assured me. "Some left-wing radicals look terrifying, but most of them are quite gentle after they take their medication. We keep the dangerous ones locked up, of course."
"Good to know," I replied.

Witch Casting a Lunatic Spell

We walked quietly down a hallway in the asylum for awhile, and the director unexpectedly opened a door. "Let me give you an idea of what we do here," he said as he smiled. As we stepped into the room, a radical left-wing witch was attempting to cast a spell at us but without success. "Don't worry, my friend. Her spells are no longer effective, thanks to our amazing new medication."
"Very impressive," I replied.

Lunatic Medusa?

The director and I moved to the next door. "This poor woman used to turn people to stone--even if they only gazed at her for a moment, but she can no longer do that thanks to her special Medusa Medication," the director claimed.
"Thank goodness," I replied.

Lunatic Riding an Alligator

We moved to the next room and peeked through the door. Inside, a man was riding an alligator. "These fellows used to be fierce terrorists, but we have tamed them through our highly effective scientic practices. You see, we are trying to find ways to avoid executing the Antifa insurrectionists, and we are also trying to avoid sending them off to concentration camps--if we can. I think you can agree that we have been extremely successful in our rehabilitation efforts."
"Yes, kudos for your great work," I replied.

Lunatic Death?

The director opened the next door and stated, "We are especially proud of this fellow. He believed that he was Death until we found the right medication for him. He occasionally relapses and puts on his costume, but even in his costume he remains as gentle as a dove."
"Congratulations again for all of your amazing progress!" I replied.
"Let me escort you to your room so that you can rest before we begin our tests," the director kindly responded.

Monstrous Drones Destroying Apartment Buildings

I followed the director but soon made a break for the front door. I hustled as fast as I could to my apartment in the El Dorado District. Suddenly huge drones flew toward my apartment building, and one drone blasted a huge hole in my wall. I wondered if they had targeted me for extrajudicial execution or if it was just random destruction.

Back to the Left-Wing Lunatic Asylum

I slouched back to the Left-Wing Lunatic Asylum. "I changed my mind. This might be the safest place for me be right now," I whined.

My Room at the Lunatic Asylum

"Please come in. I had a feeling that you might come back," The director kindly responded. Then he guided me to my room in the asylum.

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